Reflecting on the most worshipful experiences of my life, I can think of two that stand out. The first was during a retreat for MEW that happened this year. The second one was picking up rocks at camp this past summer. The first included music, the latter did not include music. Here they are:
During the retreat for MEW, we had an hour sanctioned out for silent prayer. We were in the sanctuary of Miller Heights church and spread across the room were several interactive prayer stations. You could choose to sit in the pews and pray, read your bible, or you could go around and interact with the various stations. Afterward, we all came together to sing songs of worship to the Lord. We sang around three songs and the atmosphere was quiet and calm. Still. I felt led to pray out loud for everyone so I did. Prayer is something that I am constantly improving on and praying in front of people can sometimes be a struggle. Though that prayer was something completely different. There were words coming out of my mouth that were not mine, and there was this burning passion as these words were being spoken. (It was about spreading the Gospel to those who don't know it). This was the first time I've ever felt this way before and I was really taken aback when it ended. I knew that those words weren't mine. I consider this one of my most worshipful moments because it was one of the most transcendent moments I've ever experienced. It was not of me, it truly was of God. Now I definitely say that music played a role in the development of that moment. The 45 minutes of prayer set the tone of solemness, stillness, and rest. Then coming into worship with guitar and voices elevated the mood to one of yearning, to one of seeking connection with the Lord. We were in a different place from when the musical worship started and ended. The atmosphere was different and I believe that there is no way we could have arrived there if it wasn't through the work of the Holy Spirit through worship in song. There is mystery that surrounds worship through song that unifies and transports us into a different state of being. As the guitar continued through the prayer I prayed, it set up the perfect space for the Holy Spirit to move in my heart and to flow out through my mouth. It was a mysterious and transcendent moment that I truly believe could not have been reached without the music involved. It allows us to be aware of the presence of the Lord, to humble ourselves before the Lord, to take away the belief that we are gods, and to realize that we messed up and need to ask for forgiveness. As to how this transpired, I am not entirely sure in terms of tangible terms. Yet, music provokes an emotional response from phrase to lyrics. Perhaps it reminds us about our faith and in what we believe and makes us aware of the Holy Spirit that is present upon as to which it uses music as a medium to move our hearts.
The second worshipful moment was without music. To make a long story short, the camp I worked at had a discipline exercise for campers who continually misbehave. The punishment is to fill a bucket three times, transport it three times, and empty it three times. Now the camper, counselor and senior counselor all work together on this. So the empty bucket is at the bottom of a hill, and we all have to go up the hill take 1 rock, go down and put it in the bucket until it is fill. Then the camper and counselor bring it up the hill only to dump it out, and do it two more times. The catch is that on the third time, the counselor does it alone and the senior counselor takes the camper aside and uses it as a parallel to the Gospel. So far, that was the most demanding thing in my life. By the third time, I was exhausted and I had to go up and down the hill 15 more times by myself in mid 90's degree weather. By the last 3 times, I had barely any energy and was wheezing. Though at one point my camper said "stop" softly at first and then yelled it. For some reason, that gave me the energy to not only continue but to sprint up and down the hill to finish. It made me realize that I would not stop. I was doing this for him, not for me. This was his punishment and I was taking it on for him because I loved him and would suffer for him. It was in that moment that gave me a different perspective of what Jesus did on the Cross for us. I would love to get into details, but that's for another day. Though realizing that my own suffering for this camper was what Jesus did for us on the Cross. Except that his was for all and the pain he went through makes my suffering look like nothing. That moment did not have music, in fact it was done in complete silence. Yet what my camper and I experienced was completely transcendent. I do believe firmly that music has the power to enhance worshipful experiences. Yet I think this was a case in which a lack of music provided a more meaningful, worshipful, and transcendent experience. This is due to the thought that this was a time of meditation and thought, in which silence without distractions needed to be observed. I would even go as far as saying that music would disrupt the atmosphere and be distraction, no matter what was played.
These two experiences I contradict myself, one I say that music enhances worship and can transport you to a state of being that couldn't be achieved without it. The other I say that music can be distracting and take away from the experience. Yet, I believe that both are true. There is always a balance to things and I do truly believe there are times in which music is a tool that can be used to move us into more worshipful experiences where we feel the hand of God, but I also truly believe that the same can be achieved through a lack of music. In both cases, I experienced transcendent moments and as to the question which was was the greater moment I would say they were the same. I think it comes down to the atmosphere and the setting. Music can create and take up space, as well does silence yet there are just two of a myriad of mediums that the Holy Spirit uses to transform our hearts to be like Christ.
